It was really difficult to decide whether to write this post or not. I don’t share the in’s and out’s of my life on social, but this is something that means a lot to me. If it can help one person, then that’s my job accomplished.
Recently I’ve read and heard horror stories about young kids committing suicide because of bullies. It breaks my heart. Bullying can happen at any age, to anyone, whether you’re a boy or a girl and it can take so many forms not just physical.
I was bullied as a teenager. If I’m honest, they were probably the worst years of my life.
I’m not going to go into detail because that’s not the point of this post. But I want to share with you that you can get help, you can get through it and you can be successful.
Accepting that you are being bullied is actually quite a hard thing. You don’t want to seem weak and by admitting it to someone, it makes it real.
I remember the day I told my mum like it was yesterday. I rehearsed what I was I going to say about 20 times. I did change my mind about 20 times as well. I had no idea how she would react.
I’m getting teary writing this because I remember my mum holding me tight, kissing me on the forehead and telling me everything was going to be OK. She was right. I felt a sudden relief already and knew that it was the best decision I made.
It did mean a few changes including moving school, answering awkward questions to people when they wondered why I was moving and making myself happy again. The latter being the hardest.
Although when I did move there were some that tried to make my life difficult. But this time I was more willing to stand up for myself and also talk to my family and teachers.
I didn’t realise how much it affected me until now really. I did isolate myself. I worked my bum off at school. Which wasn’t a bad thing because I did land the course I wanted at university. However, I know at some points my parents would’ve liked if I got my head, out of my books, a bit more. But they were so supportive and I love them so much for it.
My confidence took a massive blow and I still suffer now and again. I used to be the person that was able to do public speaking no problem, however, the thoughts of doing a presentation now scare the living daylights out of me. In university, I picked modules based on whether they had a presentation or not. I have improved over time with the help of my boss and colleagues. I can now manage to talk without forgetting my words every 10 seconds!
At the time I was going through all of this, I became interested in running. It was my way of burning off steam, escapism really. It gave me a feeling of relief and satisfaction, it still does. It was something different and fun and nobody could tell me if I was doing it wrong or not!
Since then, although it’s hard for me to admit it sometimes, I have achieved a lot in my life…so far.
Being bullied has made me a lot stronger (and smarter!). I don’t take crap anymore and I won’t surround myself with people who make me feel shit about myself. I’m more aware of others feelings and I like to contribute to charities that help people feel good about themselves.
This year is the year of “Mindfulness”. My ambition is to help people achieve a happy place physically and mentally. I’ve started a 5km run club in Regent’s Park which takes place every month (you can become a groupie here). I will be working with Natalie Pennicotte – Collier, a Mental Wealth and Anxiety Expert, who will attend some of my runs and we plan to hold some workshops together this year. Natalie works with a number of GB athletes, schools and individuals. I’m very lucky to have her on board.
If anything, I hope you can see that you can be happy, you just need to talk. No normal human being would want to see another normal human being bullied. As hard as it might seem right now, I can promise you it will only get better when you share your problems with another person.
I’ve included some links to charities who are great for help and support.
App download “For Me” :Provides counseling to young people in need of help directly through their mobile devices.
Life is for living and we’re only on this planet for a short time, make sure it’s a happy time.